Holding my miracle for the first time

There are so many other things to think about while your baby is NICU.  There are all different types of papers and consents to sign.  We had to sign a consent form for Eli to get a PICC line.  It sounds so simple, sure we can sign for him to get a PICC line and then you read what can happen.  They can go to far when doing a PICC line and hit the heart, they can get a serious infection and a host of other things.  We just had to look at what was best for him in the long run.  We knew getting a PICC line would be better for him than getting stuck every few days for an IV.  They shut the entire pod down and treat the room like a sterile environment.  There are only a few certified nurses that are qualified to insert these PICC lines in preemie's.  I was a nervous wreck until they called to tell me everything was fine with his line.  

Random things about preemie babies.  When they are first born, they don't feed them.  Eli didn't have formula until day 2.  There bodies are ready for food yet.  It is still my job to be feeding him.  My body is supposed to be supplying his food.  So, they give them sugar water for the first 24 hours.  After this time, they start them with formula.  He got 4 cc's the first day.  He would get this much every four hours.  Then before he would eat again, they would pull out what was inside of his stomach from the previous feeding.  This is called residual.  They have to see what the baby is digesting and what they aren't so they will know whether or not to increase their formula intake.  Then they give what is left right back to them.  The tube is right inside their stomach.

Babies born this early aren't ready to breath on their own either.  Again, that is my job as a mommy.  I am supposed to be breathing for him while he is inside my womb.  They don't really develop this skill until 34 weeks.  They can breath on their own before now, but they often forget to do it because it was being done for them while they were in the womb.  So, to help babies with this they give them caffeine.  YES!!!  Caffeine!!  I already have one ADHD child and I will be proud to have another one if that is what it takes to help him remember to breath.  They give these little babies liquid caffeine to help them remember to breath!

 

Only two short days after they inserted his PICC line, they told us that he was moving.  He was only six days old.  What do you mean he is moving.  They said that he was doing well enough that he didn't need the supervision of NICU and he would be moving to a step down unit.  I was excited and nervous at the same time.  I liked the thought of him staying in NICU.  I knew there were nurses buzzing around everywhere.  Someone would always be watching my sweet baby!!!  It also made me happy that he was doing well enough for a step down unit.  However, I was still a nervous wreck.  I was so afraid that he would regress.  I knew that he had been working so hard to breath on his own that I was afraid that he would get tired and need more care than he was getting.  Eli came into this world breathing on his own.  He didn't require the help of any machines!  This in its self was a miracle too!  God is so very good!!  Eli did have room air via a nasal tube for almost two days to help him remember to breath.  Well, after he pulled it out twice, they decided he didn't need it.  It was gone after he ripped it out!!  They moved him on November 13th around 6:00 P.M.  It was a Thursday.  I called twice that night to make sure he was okay in his new home.  Friday was very exciting for me because I got to visit him in his new home and I got to hold my baby boy for the very first time.  

Holding Eli for the first time was so amazing.  I was scared too!  I'm used to 8 lb babies!!  I wasn't sure what to do with a 3 lb. baby.  I wanted to do kangaroo care with him because of the benefits for both of us.  Kangaroo care is basically skin to skin contact while you hold the baby.  They lay on your chest.  It is very helpful for preemie's.  The skin to skin contact helps keep the baby warm while they are outside of the incubator, it promotes boding for mom and child, it helps with digestion, and nursing.  

I sat in the chair with a hospital gown on.  The nurse picked my sweet baby up out of his bed and he was so very tiny.  His little diaper about to fall off and his long legs dangling underneath him.  He just looked so small!!!  She placed his tiny body on my chest! He was so very warm!  He was so small on my chest.  He curled into a little ball.  I could feel the tear welling up in my eyes.  I blinked them away and just covered him with a blanket and held my sweet baby boy for the very first time!  Seven long days had past, but the wait was over and it was well worth it.  I held sweet Eli on my chest for one hour!  It was the most amazing hour.  I talked very softly to him.  They say that preemie's don't like to be rubbed or talked to very loudly.  I always kept my words short.  I wanted him to know it was his mom each time, so I just would repeat over and over. "Hey, Eli, I love you".  Your mama loves you"! I would just keep repeating this a few times and then I would just sit in silence and hold my baby.  I would pray over him.  I would thank God for allowing me to hold this miracle.  I would pray for the nurses and doctors that took care of him.  I would just pray!